


Nightmares

by BlueFeathers (Merlinites)



Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: Cute, Fluff, Kissing, Love, M/M, Nightmares, ozbert - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-15
Updated: 2014-10-15
Packaged: 2018-02-18 11:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2347226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merlinites/pseuds/BlueFeathers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gilbert frequently has nightmares about the ten years he lived without Oz. </p><p>When Oz asks about them, Gilbert reveals more than he intended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightmares

Gilbert Nightray didn’t like to think of the ten years he spent without Oz Vessalius. Before the day Oz disappeared, the two were inseparable. Wherever Oz was, Gilbert would be; wherever Gilbert was, Oz would be. The two were like the sun and the moon, chasing each other across the sky in an endless cycle.

But that was how Gilbert liked it. He liked spending every day basking in the rays of Oz’s sun. He liked listening to the cadence of Oz’s voice; the way it travelled across the air to his ears. He liked knowing that every day would be the same – every day he would be Oz’s, now and always. Nothing would change. Everything would remain the same.

However, everything changed and nothing remained the same. Oz was thrown into The Abyss for ten years, and Gilbert had to learn to live as one half of a whole. Gilbert had to learn to live as the moon without its sun. Without Oz’s gaze on him, without Oz’s voice in his ears. He had to learn to live in a state of unbeing, for Oz was the only one that made Gilbert feel truly alive.

So Gilbert rarely thought of these times of his own accord. Oz was back, after ten years. That was all that mattered. _He_ was all that mattered in this wretched world.

Even so, every so often in the deep dark of the night, the memories of life without Oz would burden Gilbert with their weight. They would scar him with their claws, and rip him to shreds with their teeth. They would drive him insane with their soft whispers, and lead him astray with their screams. Gilbert thought of Oz in these moments. Oz, only a few rooms away – safe, near. And slowly but surely the memories would fade with the rising sun, and Gilbert would forget them again.

After a particularly long night wrought with pain, Oz walked into Gilbert’s room, a smile on his face. Gilbert tried to school his features into their normal flippancy, but he found himself failing. His nightclothes were drenched in sweat, his bedclothes were strewn across the bed, and the room was a mess. All of these screamed that there was something wrong – Gilbert was about as meticulous as one could be.

Oz’s eyes scanned the room with quiet scrutiny, their green light analysing every little thing that was astray. Eventually, he settled his gaze on Gilbert, who was still sitting on the edge of his bed, looking ready to run at the slightest provocation.

“Gilbert … what happened here?” Oz asked, voice coloured with the slightest trepidation.

Gilbert ducked his head, letting his dark hair fall over his face in a kind of curtain. He didn’t want to tell Oz that the nights were the hardest because he couldn’t see him. He didn’t want to tell Oz that the last ten years of his life were almost meaningless due to his absence. He didn’t want Oz to think him weak. He wanted to protect Oz, and to do that he needed to be capable – not plagued by nightmarish thoughts every night. Gilbert’s silence stretched on in the wake of Oz’s question.

“Gil?” Oz whispered.

The use of his childhood nickname nearly broke Gilbert. He took a shuddering breath and straightened himself, locking his golden eyes on Oz’s green ones.

“Nothing to worry about Oz,” he answered. “Now, what are you doing here so early?”

Oz tilted his head to the side, seeing through Gilbert as he always did. “Gil, don’t keep things from me. I’m not a kid.”

 _But you are_ , Gilbert thought to himself. _I have changed and yet you remain the same, after all this time._

“Tell me,” Oz implored. “Please.”

Gilbert didn’t think he could tell Oz. He didn’t think that he could reveal that much of himself without being hurt by Oz’s response. He knew Oz did not feel for him in the same way. Gilbert was Oz’s valet, best friend, protector. But Oz was Gilbert’s master, heart, love. And Gilbert did not want to risk what they had for his own selfish wants. He would not deny Oz anything – especially not his own companionship. And he would be denying him that if he ever told Oz how he truly felt.

“I had a nightmare,” Gilbert ceded.

Oz fiddled with the brass buttons of his brown jacket, a nervous habit from childhood. _Except his childhood isn’t over yet, even though mine is_ , Gilbert pined. In three steps, Oz was standing before Gilbert and in one swift motion, he was on his knees before him. Gilbert reared back, heat blooming on his cheeks, but Oz only leaned closer, settling himself between Gilbert’s knees.

“O-Oz…” Gilbert trailed off.

Looking up at Gilbert through his pale blonde hair, Oz grinned. “Have I got your attention now, Gil?”

“You always have my attention, Oz.” Gilbert wanted to take back the words the minute they left his mouth. He couldn’t tell Oz. _He couldn’t._

“Is it really just a nightmare that has you sweating and shaking?” Oz asked, placing his hands on Gilbert’s legs.

Gilbert nodded slowly in response to Oz’s question, the effort to do so Herculean. His mind could not concentrate with Oz so close – touching him. Every thought in his head spiralled down dangerous paths. Dangerous paths of his lips on Oz’s mouth, Oz’s skin.

“What was this nightmare about?” As he asked this, Oz’s hands moved up to Gilbert’s hips.

“You,” Gilbert managed.

“What happened to me?” Oz’s hands moved to Gilbert’s chest.

“You – you were gone.”

“And you were alone?” Oz’s hands travelled to Gilbert’s shoulders.

Gilbert nodded, swallowing loudly – the sound echoing in the stillness of the room.

“Did you want to be with me?” Oz’s hands trailed into Gilbert’s hair, and Gilbert could not stop the sigh that escaped him.

“Y-yes. I want to be with you always.”

“I am right here, Gil,” Oz said solemnly, leaning into Gilbert, his mouth inches away.

“I know.”

After a brief pause Oz asked, “When are you going to tell me?”

Gilbert’s head spun with the dizziness of having Oz so close, and he felt heady with wanting. “Tell you what?”

“That you are in love with me.”

Gilbert jerked back, but Oz held him close. He shook his head, but he was unable to rip his gaze away from Oz’s burning eyes.

“Gil, I have always known.”

“How?”

A grin spread across Oz’s face. “You’re not very good at hiding it.”

“I – I…”

“Tell me, Gil,” Oz whispered. “Tell me.”

Gilbert bit his lip, all his previous worries surfacing to the forefront of his mind. Didn’t Oz know that everything would change once these feelings were out in the open? But Gilbert could deny Oz nothing, and so the words inevitably made themselves known.

“I have always loved you. I will always love you,” he said, voice breaking. “I am nothing without you, Oz.”

Oz smiled tentatively, and there was a light sheen in his green eyes. “Is it true?”

“Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes.”

“Gil!” Oz cried, throwing himself into Gilbert’s arms.

Gilbert slowly wrapped himself around Oz, realising that nothing had changed for the worst. Oz was still here, he was still with him. He was not leaving, he was not repulsed.

When Oz pulled back, his smile was the most genuine Gilbert had seen since he had returned from The Abyss. Had he caused this happiness in Oz? If that was the case – how could he have denied Oz this happiness for so long?

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Oz frowned slightly, confused and Gilbert kissed his forehead.

“Giiiiil,” Oz groaned.

When Gilbert looked at him, Oz was pouting. Gilbert raised an eyebrow and Oz frowned again. A silent conversation between them. After a second Gilbert smiled and leaned forward, brushing his lips ever so slightly against Oz’s. Oz sighed contentedly, and leaned into Gilbert, pressing against him tightly.

A moment passed and Oz broke away from Gilbert for only a moment before returning to his kiss. But in that moment, the words he said promised an eternity of kisses, an eternity of unspoken conversations, an eternity free of nightmares: “I love you too, Gil.”

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> I created an AO3 account just for Pandora Hearts fanfic: http://archiveofourown.org/users/bluefeathers


End file.
